Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
