didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
