You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
