Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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