I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
