i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
