tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it glows. i had to have it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize