I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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