is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
