Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
