I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
