I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
