Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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