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Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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