just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
