Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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