All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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