we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
