Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
