One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
