No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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