Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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