you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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