I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
