Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
