Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
