don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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