I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
nutella sex= disaster
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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