Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
