remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
