And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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