Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
