if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
