the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
