she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
