I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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