I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
