I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
