Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You dont lie about slip and slides
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
