Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
