I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
