So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
