I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize