I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
