i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
