i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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