Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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