I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize