The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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