it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Never underestimate the power of titties
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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