I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
only if we run a train.
done.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize