The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
