the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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