i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Blood and glitter go together right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
