i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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