Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
