Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
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