I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
