We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
